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Pretending that everything is like it used to be doesn’t work: caregivers need time to mourn the loss of their old life and to adjust to their new one. Don’t feel guilty if resentment arises now and then.
On the flip side, don’t feel guilty when you have a good time.
As a result, not only will you get that support, but the person you’re caring for will feel as if he or she is contributing to the well-being of the relationship.
In addition, there may be important issues, such as financial constraints, that badly need to be talked about in order to avoid harder times down the road. DO NOT become isolated yourself even if the person you care for is housebound.
I do not even have previous memories of going to social events with a spouse then all of a sudden not as I became ill at a young age. I slowly developed neuropathic and gastrointestinal issues through my life into full-blown fibromyalgia (to add to life-long migraines) by my early twenties.
He rarely goes to these events anymore, but the couple who were hosting it issued a special invitation to him, so he went.
He saw people from our smallish town whom he hadn’t seen for years.
Be on the alert for that Super Caregiver mentality that has you thinking you’re not an adequate caregiver unless you’re giving the person in your care 100% of your attention and unless you’re sure never to have more fun than he or she is having.
Speaking personally, I want Tony to have a good time.
It makes me feel less bad about the drastic change in his life and about the responsibilities he’s had to take on. DO NOT be reluctant to share your difficulties with the person you're caring for.