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When I confronted my friend about the situation, I asked if he knew that he had herpes. It was hard enough to face the fact that we'd had sex, or tried to, and it was much harder to cope with the fact that I had caught an incurable sexually transmitted disease.
In 1989, when I got herpes, the nurse told me I couldn't transmit the virus unless I was having an outbreak.
(At the time, many doctors and other health care providers believed this to be the case, although a number of research studies had already suggested otherwise.) So, I decided to keep quiet.
For three years, I had a boyfriend who never knew I had herpes.
Many people are unaware they have it, because they don't experience symptoms or because they attribute the symptoms to something else. Years later, I've come to the realization that he knew he had herpes, and that is the reason he stopped in the midst of our sexual adventure.
During an outbreak, blisters or sores appear on or around the genital area. The nurse taught me how to manage the virus, but managing my personal life was another story. Our friendship, unfortunately, ended as quickly as the act.
My friend said I was too much like a sister, and he couldn't continue. I worried about how that incident would affect our friendship.
By the time I finished college in 1994, the possibility of spreading the virus even when you didn't have an outbreak had become more widely accepted by health care providers.You have nothing to worry about." I appreciated his honesty and knew I had to tell him that he was the one who had something to worry about. I explained that I had herpes, and that was why I was being so cautious.I told him that to my knowledge I had never spread the virus to anyone else, and that I was very careful.I was still uncomfortable about bringing up the subject, but now I didn't have much of a choice.I didn't date for awhile, but inevitably, I met someone.
The whole experience made me more comfortable with the fact that I have herpes and gave me the confidence to begin dating again.