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No one can really nail down the reason why but many experts agree that chemistry online can be completely unrelated to chemistry offline."You could pick the perfect profile photo and the perfect profile that would match someone else's checklist but if you get on the phone, you might not even be able to have a conversation," says Spira."It's not like the data is based on trialed experiments where we actually put people in a laboratory […] and pair them up and make them get married," says Cheshire.The studies that do come out about specific dating sites or apps are often sponsored by the companies that are featured and, all in all, most dating platforms keep their matching methods top secret.For some, this may mean admitting their favorite photo of themselves is a decade old and that those twenty pounds they gained aren't as temporary as they've been saying.This can be a difficult adjustment but it's better than skirting reality and ending up with some very disappointed dates.
For those who do successfully use tech-driven dating to find a long-term partner — 23 percent of online daters according to the Pew Research Center — technology likely continues to be a part of their love life, albeit in a different way.
There is no question that these days technology is inextricable from the way we date and mate.
According to the Pew Research Center's Internet Project, 38 percent of singles have used online dating or mobile dating apps, that's about 11 percent of the total population.
"Essentially, the very desirable people tend to do very well in online dating formats, not too surprisingly," says Eastwick.
His own work has shown that over time, the initial traits that people find attractive in others — like looks, charisma, and success — lose a lot of their value while the things that make people unique — like their favorite book or movies — become more important.
The balance between becoming too dependent on technology versus missing out on its perks is one we have yet to figure out.